Lies and Alibis

Another court myth busted for you today, Bloggermen and Bloggerwomen.

You see, they tell us that Jeremy Bamber was a bit of a pretty boy, bit of a ladies man and a bit of a hit with the women (when they weren't trying to convince us with homophobic abuse that he was gay, that is...difficult to keep up with all their changing stories.)

But he can't be a pretty man, can our Bamber. I mean I look at him and I thinks to myself "Ahh, nice looking chap." Yet it seems we're wrong.

Bamber's an ugly man, it emerges. At least, he ain't got to Alibi!

Allow Brian and Stewie to explain:

So there you go!

Only........... that's not quite either, is it? Not at all.

You see, you'd expect a man apparently guilty of five murders to have no alibis and no proof of innocence, wouldn't you?

Only Mr Bamber has himself an alibi. WHOOPS! Another lie... He doesn't have one alibi, he has about 20-plus of them. That's right, more than twenty alibis to prove his innocence yet not a single one has been allowed to secure his freedom.

That's justice denied, folks. And that IS pretty ugly.

Knight Rider Nicked!

Michael Knight: Presumably gave Bamber a lift....

So then, Bloggeroos. In previous chats we have discovered many things. We have discovered, many will tell you, that Mr Jeremy Bamber is a bad man, a killer, a breakfast lover and a magician. How marvellous.

Except it is not marvellous – it’s a load of old toffee! It’s been good humour enough to sustain the Police and countless others over the last three decades or so. They do love a good tale about our man Bamber. I’ve got another one for you – did you hear about the time the coppers caught and arrested Michael Knight?

You know the fella. The Hoff! Smashing hair, the one off of that telly programme Knight Rider. Yeah they got him good. Or at least that’s how it sounds, anyway. Back in 1985 they stood outside White House Farm, home to the family of Jeremy Bamber while, inside, Mr Bamber’s entire family tragically lay dead. It appears as though – while waiting the four or five hours they saw fit to fanny around before eventually deciding to storm the place, call ambulances and the like – they spent time chatting to The Hoff who, for some reason, was over in the UK and randomly passing by sleepy corner of Essex in the dark of the night.

I say this cos the Police maintain that there was a fella stood about, chatting on about how he was about to spend £70,000 or so buying a brand new Porsche. How the other half live, eh? All very well if you can afford it and the Hoff off Knight Rider obviously can.

There is one curiosity – the Police did say that this man was not in fact the Hoff, but was instead Jeremy Bamber himself. I’m sure they must have mixed up the two (they both have decent hair after all) but they say not. They say Bamber was there mouthing off about the fact that once all this business was taken care of, he was gonna get a brand-new Porsche. Bamber ended up in jail because of it no less! The greedy so and so.

Ok, ok. I’m being a silly sausage now... But that’s the sort of stuff they come out with! “M’Lord, Bamber said he was going to buy a new Porsche once all this killin’ bizzniss was sorted, so send him to jail and throw away the key!”

Seriously? How about the truth – Bamber, so torn by what was going on inside the house, repeatedly broke down in front of officers who, keen to stop him turning to hysterics, distracted him by talking about more trivial matters. Jeremy would tell them of a summer car project he was working on – involving purchasing a Porsche kit car [No, not THAT type of “Kit” car you silly bean!]  This would have been at a cost of about £1-2,000. i.e. more than enough for you or I to afford just by saving up our dinner money for a few months. Not the sort of amount that’d drive a man to wipe out his family.

Tis all part of the prosecution game of getting you to believe Jeremy Bamber is a monster. One slight spin on one innocent conversation, and you have a generation of people assuming that a man serving life in prison is in the right place – when in fact he isn’t.

How about we stop all of this and start being told the truth, eh? You know – the TRUTH. The truth being that Jeremy Bamber having killed his family is as likely as Michael sodding Knight driving him to the Farm to do it!